Mr. Singhji, the Bay has been Bombed....

Today I write as a disappointed and frightened civilian. Bombay, and I absolutely refuse to call it Mumbai, has been my home.
Bill Waterson said once, "A man's house should be his castle, but it need not be a fortress." How true is that...
I refuse to punctuate my sentences with exclamatory marks because frankly, its nothing exciting or new. We all know what I am going to write. I sat home the whole day, listening from friends what is going on the city. I do not have a television at my place and my Dad commented that we were a whole lot happier this way. I am curious even when I know I might vomit when I see the pictures. I surf the internet and I talk to friends and I find out how many people were killed, how many places caught fire, how many bombs went off, how many Policemen died... Have I become a sadist I thought? The answer is an emphatic "maybe". But this was not my choice. This is what terrorism has done to me. I watch a man bleed but I dont flinch anymore. I feel bad but I am not scared at all. I know deep down I could have very well been THAT man but I go out anyways. I feel very bad still how many children are left orhpaned because of one person's blind-sight, but then I almost forget about it in a day or so. I believe every single person in Bombay is going through the same thing.
I believe we are not getting stronger, we are just getting used to it...

When I look at Bombay, variety stands out. I can see many people, of so many distinct personalities and weird characteristics. I can write a blog about such people. Well I guess I really can...

Lets begin with the first kind. I'll just call her All the Way Aunty, because she really goes all the way to tell every person who can hear about what is happening. She is a walking news-channel of the extremely wrong kind. I met All the Way Aunty yesterday. Lets see how I heard it All the Way from her. A person went and told her, "I heard a bomb exploded in CST. I think I saw it on the news. Should I send my children to your tution class?" What All the Way Aunty told me frantically, her eyes blod-shot and scared, "Bombs going off in the city! The newchannels are covering it right now. School and colleges closed tomorrow!"
Did you just see what happened? Its a good old fashioned game of Chinese Checkers.
But she is a real help sometimes. I was in college the other day. A student comes and tells me the trains are not working. I just dont listen to him. I get to know every time even if a train is half a minute late from All the Way Aunty.

The next person is the Told you So Uncle. This person is a real gem. He reads the news in the papers and goes, "Tsk Tsk... told you so!" And this is the tip of the iceberg. He speaks with a grin on his face and an expression as if people really regret not coming to him for any advice. He speaks of Government policies, he speaks of safety, he speaks of Police ethics, he speaks of mindsets of people.... But then he sits in his house comfortably, sipping his cup of coffee, believing that his job is only to tell people where they go wrong.... People can do it all themselves.... Better watch out for this person... If you dont, well, I told you SO...

The next person is the Why me off ALL people Ramesh. Ramesh lives in a small flat in Parel, confined to his one bed room hall kitchen, where he harbours his entire family of five. He earns exactly as much he needs to run his menagerie. He has started saving money slowly because he will buy the Nano as soon as it comes out. He will finally stop travelling by the overcrowded trains where people come a little closer than you actually want them to. He walks out of the station hurriedly and goes for his job. He looks at every female that passes by him as if he is seeing someone of the opposite sex for the first time. He goes down and enjoys tea and sutta at the nearest tapri. He comes up and listens to his boss shout at him. His friends have ditched him at the end of the day and gone together. He walks alone. He enters the station. He sees a man fumble with his bag. Out comes a loaded gun and people run helter-skelter. And as he finds himself at the wrong end of a loaded gun, all he can do is wonder... "Why me of ALL the people!?!" He falls down and there's a sharp pain in his chest. He wants to die. Because he cannot afford any hospital bills right now. Pay day is still a week away....

The next is I dont give a **** Kenny.... Kenny is in the bus now. The road is empty and there is not a single person other than him in the bus. Even the conducter cant stop sweating and palpitating. "Why are you even out?" he asks Kenny. Kenny cant listen to him. His ipod blared in his ears. He has blinded and deafened himself from this world. He is a rebel. He doesnt care. His mom is calling him again and again. "Why are you calling me so many times!!???" he shouts at her. He looks out again. He is going out with his friends to the nearest Lounge. He knows there will be no one there. He feels he is not hurt. Why should he bother? He has to die someday he believes. But now in this world of smoke and alcohol, he has nothing left to believe in....

The next two very weird characters are Roadside Romeo and Footpath Fatima. They can be seen getting cozy behind every rock and behind every tree, in every garden, in every park. They are alone now. No old people to shout at them. No young children to goggle. They are finally free they believe. Looking at them makes you feel sick, and you allow yourself a chuckle. He is sleeping on her lap and she has her dupatta over his face to shield his eyes from the sun... or whatever... The police have better things to do now.... A very cheap date for the two.... only fifty bucks if Pandu intervenes.... The whole city burns and these two get hot...

Next is probably the weirdest character - Hey he's Cute Cindy. Cindy is nothing like Cinderella. She walks up to a crying friend. Her friend is all worked up looking at the pics in the newspaper. She has lost someone dear. She has called Cindy so that she can cry on her shoulder. Cindy has been her best friend for a long time. And Cindy walks in, a smile from ear to ear. "Dont you think the terrorist is cuteee????" The reaction on her friend's face says it all.... Cindy smiles....

(Will be continued in the next blog...........)

I was an utter pessimist. A couple of years back, when my friend asked me "Dude, is this glass half full or half empty?" I replied, " Where's the glass?" I was refusing to see the problems in front of me. I was avoiding them. Dont you know that he's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder....... I kept humming this line, dunno where i heard this. But that sort of described me prefectly.
But this world is a pretty interesting place. If She sees you slacking around, not facing your problems, ignoring your tears, she will force them out of you. And that comes when you least expect it. It was a year back when all of my problems overwhlemed me. And clouded me. Cornered me. They forced me into a showdown.
I know my problems were cliched. I know my problems were too trivial. But I am a Piscean. I always embrace my problems much more than any one of you would. I like to wallow in my problems before trying to do something. This was a bad habit and I had no intention to get rid of it...
These problems started affecting me mentally and physically. I was a mental mess. My self-confidence level was at an all time low. It had got so worse that at one point of time I went for weeks before watching myself in the mirror. I had lost courage to actually get down alone and travel any where. I felt people judging me. I actually felt people laughing behind my backs as I went. I lost interest in everything. My poems reflected that as they slid into the Gothic Genre. I spewed out poem after poem everyday.
Physically I was hit too. Stress levels shooted. I was put on sedatived which actually put me to sleep while walking. I started losing weight. I lost 25 kgs in a span of less than 2 months.
I was unable to cope up with my problems. This continued for a year after which I decided enough was enough. I took one step which suddenly jerked me back into what I used to be before. Trust me, I will never regret that decision.

I read a nice little poster in my college that read "Literary Arts" I never knew these two words would mean so much.

Okay. One disclaimer - I love writing.

LA is for our college festival. It was huge thing and I realised it that day I saw how many people were working for it. Thousands of people cracking stones and banging heads to make it a success. Enough about the fest, I wanted to dedicate this blog to my committee.

At first I thought it would be something to keep me busy. Something to keep me distracted from my problems. Well it did do that. And amazingly, much much more.
Let me describe this group of mine-

Malavika. She is one tall girl. The first time I met her in front of the commerce wing, I realised she was a Southie. She briefed me about LA that day and after that I met her a few days later. She is one girl who gets so excited talking about LA especially when she is breifing the commitee. Its like her eyes light up and suddenly her eye-shadows look duller :P
She looks extremely serious but when she is joking around, she leaves everyone in splits. But when she is serious she does send a chill down my spine. Things I noticed first about her were her eye- shadows, her nail-polish ( she has the most weird and interesting designs on her nails) and her silver heart chain. The best part about her is that no one ever feels like they are with their HOD. She's one of us... and GOD BLESS HER for giving me the Roald Dahl book- I had been searching for tht for years!!!

Neha. A buddy Piscean. LA would be no where without her. She is this anchor for LA. SHe knows how to get her things done. She is down to earth, in your face.... well from what I know of her. She writes very well. And I am in awe for her ideas... I was always hoping Graveyard Calling would work out :P She is just like a Piscean- she will strain herself to the limit. She looks so busy all the time that everyone of us get energy just from watching her :) Trust me, no fooling around when there's work and when its time to fool around, well you'll have to be with her to see that :)

Suchana. (read Preity Zinta) She is one character out of a story book. :P. Always peepy, happy, bubbling around, smiling... See when you're down all you need to do is be in a fifty km radius around her :P Outspoken and rightly so...

Prateeksha. She is the quintessential Fresher in college. Always smiling. Ok the first thing that comes up in my mind is her jingle :P You have a long way to go.... And yes there's an amazing writer inside you, dun let that go to waste. She writes really well... Yea and one common interest we share - we love hoodies !!!! A perfect candidate for Jingles. One heck of a cartoon ! :P Rock on :P

Siddharth. He resembles my brother to a frighteneing degree. Sorry for hitting you sometimes playfully, u remind a lot like my brother. Amazing writer and comes up wid great ideas. A great guy to be with. I have decided I will teach him stuff about college life :P and he owes me Gurudakshina!!!!

Meeti. Again the quintessential college Fresher. So full of energy all the time. A very very innocent voice. And a great writer. And extremely considerate considering I have still not given her her book back :P Trust me I will!!!! Always running... I have rarely seen her walk slowly :)

Disha. Number 6. Good writer. Good on ideas. Extremely low on confidence. Extremely. The loudest note she can reach wont even be enough to scare a caterpillar. Cannot differentiate when she is whispering or shouting. Eternally hungry ! Eternally sleepy! Again, number 6. :P Says it all.

Aayushi. The most interesting character. Another buddy Piscean. Reads Signatures extremely well. Probably is a Dealer in a Casino because you should have seen her eyes shine when she was coming up with rules for Off Beats and Aces! Very very friendly. (read - Piscean :P) Always helping others, trust me I have seen very very few do this. Her Catch Phrase which i remember - Wait , wait, wait, wait.......... nahi nahi nahi nahi go on..... :P :P :P

Humpty Dumpty’s great fall

These things I see now,
Are certainly not lovely at all,
These things that flit past me,
Terrify my soul,
I sit here on my wall,
I can hear my destiny call,
A Regal Retinue traverses through a Roman wilderness,
Armed with hate and rage,
Waiting to turn the page,
I sit here alone on my wall,
Wallowing in my own grief,
I hear the Devil snickering behind,
I sold him my soul,
For two pence, the whole,
And for just one day for the peace of my mind…
I look behind I blink,
I see,
A glimpse of morbid reality,
Behind the wall lies a world
Where I’ll be beaten, and I’ll be torn,
I’ll be impaled the day I was born,
Where people will laugh at everything I do,
Where all my nightmares will come true,
Where I owe the devil my life and my soul,
Where I wish to be emancipated, part or a whole,
Where I shall be ridiculed for the egg that I am,
Where my love shall leave me, leave me to be damned,
A place that will forget me the day I pass by,
They’ll hug me so tightly but I know that’s a lie…
I see in front of me a way out of this,
I portend myself deserved Elysian bliss,
I jump from this wall and fall down break,
I smile in my pain, but for once I’m awake,
There comes a retinue of the golden crown,
Mocking at me, through their well-guarded frowns,
Stilted and greedy, sadists at heart,
Were glad to see an egg mutilated apart,
They came and they danced and they trampled on me,
They knew I was useless and they let me be…

But in my great fall, I found pleasure in pain,
I had suffered a lot, but now never again…


Ed Lithium

Fair Play

When i was but a little boy,
When i spent days in merriment and joy
i thought the entire world was my playground,
i thought all that i heard were happy sounds,
till the day i saw high in the sky,
a magnificent bright red sphere,
i set my sights on the mighty sun,
but then i heard my mom scream,
things are certainly not what they seem,
i went too close and i could see,
i glimpse of sudden reality,
just then i remembered my mom's words,
those which i never really had heard,
there are lessons waiting to be learnt,
you'll realise some things only after you get burnt,
as i fell down on the earth with a mighty thud,
there was lesson that i grasped,
not every man can hug the sun,
its certainly not meant for everyone,

there are lessons you learn everyday,
start with this- the world's just not ready for fair play.....

Ed Lithium