Ungli- The Finger!!!!!!!

Ungli

-the finger!!!!!


The chromosomal aberration made me stand up in the crowd,

“Bull shit, are you this insane?”

Then I thought for a while…

Ok, one finger can change this world…

“Not that one, you d*ckhead!”

Ahh yes…but really? Interesting… I always thought it was the one next to that… Well, one lives and learns…

“Out of the way, it’s a busy day!” the poster bearer cried. He came and stood next to me, huffing and puffing as he stuck a small poster onto the wall next to me.

“Dude,” I said, “who is this?”

From the looks of that guy, he appeared to be the paan-waala, whom I owe about a hundred bucks today. For I moment, I reeled. I squinted and I read, “ Vote for the Lion’s Claw. Pappu Bhai, Dadar.”

“Yeh hamare honewaale Prime Minister hain!” the poster-boy spoke, with a shine in his eye and just about the right tone in his voice, as if he had been crucially instrumental in helping the paan-waala become India’s next Prime Minister.

This wasn’t my paan-waala. He had a mole on the other cheek.

I looked closely again.

Ok, what was this guy running for? Well I had no idea about his intentions but going on his face I believed him to be extremely suited for the post of BEST conductor. Nothing more, nothing less…

That cant be, I argued with myself. Is he running for the Chief Minister? That’s the only post that came to my mind. MLA? Many movies show Nana Patekar as the MLA. That’s where I picked up that word. Police Commissioner? Do they have elections for that?

“Dude, you are pathetic!” the guy left me groping in the dark.

This time he used the correct finger.

“You are the future of the nation, my friend, and I still don’t see you waking up!” he said as he left.

I looked at the poster again.
Nope, not my paan-waala, I said to myself and left.



“Kitni baar bolu aapko, who Pappu Bhai hain, mein nahi! Aur mera paisa kab lautane waale ho?”

I lit up my Benson and somehow things became clear.

It was the day for elections.

How could I forget? I was ashamed of myself. Such an important day. I had circled it on my calendar about a month ago. I raced through the stick, I was in no mood of wasting it.

“Hey sweetie! Happy Anniversary! I am so sorry I forgot! Lets celebrate! What? Really? You’re kidding! No booze? … Aaah! Of course, elections! Dry day! Stupid democrats! Really? That’s just in the US? What do we have here? … uh huh…yea…whatever…What say we vote for Pappu Bhai! At least we’ll get some booze!”

I kept down the phone.
What a sad little day!

“Thank God, I at least have you my little magic-stick! No election’s gonna take you away from me!”





“That’s the last time I am telling you! You have to contribute a hundred bucks for the event! Pappu Bhai’s orders! Its his birthday! A joyous occasion. If you don’t pay up we’ll beat up sp badly, you won’t have teeth left to smile at his party!”

“Why the fuck should I pay? I owe that paan-waala a hundred bucks.”

This was when the crushing blow came to my knees.

He made a valid point. I had to pay.

Something shouted at the back of my mind. Don’t pay! Shit did I say that out loud?

Another blow came down on my shoulder.

Yes, you did.

Is this really worth for a hundred bucks. Just pay up!

I really had no idea you were this weak!

These voices in my brain went on and on, coming to no conclusion at all. Meanwhile, these men were making some strong arguments.

Ok I guess I have to pay up.

Suddenly I heard another voice resonating through my head.

“Not that one, you d*ckhead!”

Of course!

The finger!

It took a while to gather enough courage but I stood up. And up came the finger.


I have no idea how, what, why? But suddenly I saw them trembling. One of them already had starting running away.

Yes! Fucking cowards! Run away!

The guy who had made me a mess started sweating and for a moment was stunned. He just stood there, doing absolutely nothing. Even he followed suit.

Run away, you bastards! Messing around with me, eh?



It was an hour later. I was in the line, smiling, bleeding and enjoying the smell of success and power.

For once I was powerful. I felt untouchable. I felt invincible. I felt indestructible.

That is the power of one finger.

That’s when it made me think… Definitely, I have been missing out on this thing for years now. It’s not a right. It’s a fucking hand-grenade! I could walk straight for once. I could look every person in the eye and say, do you have the guts to yell at me?

Sometimes, I realized, ungli karma acchi baat hain!


Eddie Lithium

The need to breed

Whats-his-name is a pretty boy,
But dont pay heed,
Its a need to breed,
He's a happy going college guy,
Its the same again,
Now he's in pain...

He's a joke,
But he dont know why,
Its little bit but it gives him joy,
He's a very confused and a brittle boy,
Thats enough to make him smile...

He's the one who'll be the first,
To save you and get himself hurt,
He's the guy you'll always need,
But dont forget
Its a need to breed,

Tumbling down a broken hill,
He's an embarassment to old Jack and Jill,
He wants to live his life again,
He wants to try,
But all he does is cry...

Eddie Boy Lithium

Murphy's Law

Advanced Murphology

As a true dedicated Murphologist, I believe, Anything that can go wrong, will... And anything that goes right probably is a mere bonus, to tell you this is what could have gone wrong! Then again, We try to smile, try to forget whatever has happened, and we comfort ourselves saying hey, Tomorrow could be worse... All I can say is, it just might come true!!!

People have this nice notion of smiling away their sorrows. What a perfectly nice way of demeaning a smile! Really, do you cry everytime you feel too happy? Then again, we never feel too happy! Thats human nature. Its something inside each of us that wants us to be happy all the time. Its a simple trick though.

If you want true happiness, go through pure hell.

You'll appreciate it more...

Well does that stop me from smiling though? Not really. I have several reasons to smile.
Really?

Oh sorry that was the back of my mind butting in. But it does have a point there.

I am not good at convincing but I try to convince myself that I have reasons to smile....

You are definitely happy. I can feel it.

Is that my heart? Thought so. Always raring me to smile. Well people say I have a big heart. I just hope its not too big for itself.

Well, the probability of a good day and a bad day are quite the same. Ahh yes, my forebrain kicking in. It has a point though. It all depends on luck, which always has a the sinister approach of an unbiased coin.

But if I disagree with myself, you ask, how do I call myself an advanced Murphologist?

Well Dont forget the famous corrollary,
"If the Murphy's law can go wrong, it will!"

Ciggy

Ciggy
Waking up everyday just to your memories,
Living everyday in your liquid embrace,
Breathing away moments,
Frittering memories by the hour,
As your love increments,
I am drowning in your power,
The whole world looks so beautiful each time i see your face,
Together we'll travel through each day,
Walk along every cherry lane today,
I know I have nothing to fear,
When I have you Ciggy my dear...

They all hate me but now I have you,
Everyday will be just another day with you,
They say they wont talk me anymore,
They werent probably my friends anyways,
No one care more for me but you....
She's now left me,
she says all i think of is you,
May be that isnt a lie,
now I owe my life to you,

My parents disowned me,
for i didnt give you up,
They gave me birth, Now you raise me up...

You reinvented all my life once more,
My Dearest Ciggy, you make me see life
I wish i could now just see a purpose.....

Missle-pav

Can't you see the blinded eyes yet?
Or did you simply forget?
A date with density,
Probably,
A message almighty,
Definitely,
A state of deep sleep,
A promise too hard to keep...

We woke up to a state of no return,
We woke up only to cry and mourn...
Its too difficult to wake up today,
Too see the sun rise,
Where will my mind sway?
Make these voices go away...
Tell them to come another day,
When I can listen to myself think...

A metro that never sleeps,
Woke up that morning,
To a cutting and some missle- pav!

Its now or never...
Lucky...
I guess...
I really thank my stars,
Im left with only deep scars
That will heal,
And then I can feel,
The city burning beneath my feet...
A double edged knife I live each day,
For its only a Sunday today...
Will I live to see tomorrow?
Thats a hope I will have to borrow,

"Mom I ll come home in the evening!", she looks at me as I speak,
"Son dont make promises you cannot always keep..."

All my blood that spill,
For the price of a cuttingand some Missle-pav!

My mom used to say,
Heaven's where I'll break out into my wings,
Heaven's a place where I can finally sing,
I always wanted to sing and fly,
Its been a dream of mine since for long,
But for today I know where I belong,
I'd still live today
The world beneath my feet,
And wake up each day to a cutting and some Missle-pav!

Women weep,
Fathers cry,
Orphaned Children,
Widowed brides,

A Metro that never sleeps,
Woke up To a cutting and some Missle-pav!

Raju, ek Missle-pav, extra onion marke!

Ed Lithium

O Bummer!

O Bummer

O Bummer!
What did you just inherit...

A world lying in ruins,

A nation shattered to bits,

A world shredded by war,

It seemed unlikely,

Like you will inherit a broken promise,

But you outshone us all,

We are grateful you heard the call,

But perhaps we were too busy to see,

A glimpse of sudden reality,

O Bummer! May be even you may not know how to fix this world up.....

You now shall have to wear the crown of thorns,

For that is the price for power limitless,

To save the world,

All you need is a beautiful heart,

But a might heart,

In throne that you sit,

Is nothing more than a mere liability,

O Bummer!May be even you may have to change your heart.....

Hoping against hope,

You certainly proved,

A million hearts moved,

That nothing is impossible,

Coming to power,

A phoenix,

Rising through the ashes,

You brought forth a new assurance,

In freedom,

In hope,

O Bummer! May be you are what we all were waiting for....

Mr. SinghJi, the Bay has been bombed...... continued

I'd-love-it-from-that-angle Ishaan

Ishaan is a well established film-director in the glamourous and audacious Bollywood. He has worked up his way from scratch- a real life example that a man can come from rags to riches... Well, he knows how to use his riches now... The entire city now burns, people pray, citizens shocked, politicans bray, "What happened today?", "This is such a bad day!", "Honey I am going to work tomorrow, This is Bombay!"
There's Ishaan... walking around, daplling in the debris, groping in the dark, walking amidst a broken palace thinking,

"Hmm... I think I ll let Amitabh play Salaskar!"

Its Krystalnacht, there's a Bombay Flambe, there's a Nigthtmare on the End Street, but there's a different type of a thought in his mind... Ishaan is thinking-

"Why did you wash this blood off from here? It doesn seem realistic!!!"

A memory walk down the corridor, a policeman sits down and weeps... His friend got on to the wrong side of a bullet here. He was a good friend. "A friend in need is a friend inde..." he is about to continue when Ishaan breaks in...

"Exactly how was he killed? I mean shot in the head or the heart? Did he bleed to death here? Has he a family? Were you there with him? What did he say last? Thats not a problem, I can change that!"

The policeman thinks, " I sure wish Kasab was here. I would have given him my gun to finish him off!"